How to Stop Missing Appointments When You Have ADHD

February 14, 2026 · 7 min read

You wrote it in your calendar. You even set a reminder. And somehow, you're sitting on the couch at 3:47pm realizing your dentist appointment was at 3:00.

ADHD time blindness is brutal. It's not that you forgot the appointment existed. It's that your brain couldn't translate "appointment at 3pm" into "I need to start getting ready at 2:15." The gap between knowing something is coming and actually preparing for it is where ADHD brains fall apart.

Here's how to close that gap.

Why ADHD brains miss appointments

Understanding the problem helps you pick the right solution. ADHD appointment failures fall into three categories:

1. The time blindness trap

You know the appointment is at 3pm. At 1pm, it feels far away. At 2:30, you start a "quick" task. At 3:15, you look up and realize time has evaporated. ADHD brains have a fundamentally different relationship with time. The future doesn't feel real until it's the present, and by then it's too late.

2. The transition problem

Even when you remember, transitioning from what you're doing to getting ready and leaving requires multiple executive function steps: stop current task, remember what you need to bring, get dressed appropriately, estimate travel time, actually walk out the door. Each step is a potential failure point for an ADHD brain.

3. The notification graveyard

Your calendar sent you a "15 minutes before" reminder. You saw the notification. You thought "okay, I need to get ready." Then your brain got distracted by literally anything else, and the notification vanished into the void of your notification tray. Seen, acknowledged, instantly forgotten.

What actually works

Strategy 1: The prep call

Instead of reminding yourself at the appointment time, set a reminder for the preparation window. If your appointment is at 3pm and it takes 30 minutes to get there plus 15 minutes to get ready, your real deadline is 2:15. That's when you need the nudge.

Better yet: set two reminders. One at 2:00 ("Dentist in one hour, start getting ready") and one at 2:30 ("Leave now or you'll be late"). The first one primes your brain. The second one creates urgency.

Strategy 2: Reduce transition steps

The night before, lay out everything you need. Bag packed, clothes ready, keys by the door. Every step you can eliminate from the transition is one less chance for your brain to wander off. If getting ready for your appointment is a single step (grab bag, walk out), you're far more likely to do it.

Strategy 3: Use an escalating reminder system

A single notification 15 minutes before is not enough. You need a system that escalates:

2 hours before: "Don't forget, dentist at 3pm today"
1 hour before: "Time to start wrapping up what you're doing"
30 minutes before: "Get ready now. You need to leave in 15 minutes."
15 minutes before: "Leave. Now. Seriously."

Each reminder increases urgency. This mirrors how a real personal assistant would prep you.

Strategy 4: Make the reminder impossible to ignore

This is where most systems fail. Notifications are easy to ignore. Alarms get snoozed. Calendar popups get dismissed.

What's hard to ignore? A phone call.

When your phone rings, your entire screen changes. It vibrates continuously. It makes noise. You have to actively decide to decline it. And even if you do, you know someone called. This is why doctor's offices, dentists, and hair salons use phone call reminders for appointments. They work.

Get Nudged applies this same principle but makes it personal and conversational. Instead of a robotic "You have an appointment tomorrow," it's a friendly AI voice saying "Hey, your dentist appointment is in an hour. Time to start getting ready and head out." And if you don't pick up, it calls back.

Strategy 5: The body double trick

Tell someone about your appointment. Not just "I have a dentist appointment." Ask them: "Can you text me at 2:15 and ask if I'm getting ready for my dentist appointment?" Having someone check in on you creates external accountability, which is one of the most effective ADHD management tools.

The downside: you're relying on another person, who might also forget. This is what makes AI-powered phone reminders compelling. It's like having a body double who never forgets and never gets tired of reminding you.

The ideal appointment reminder system for ADHD

Based on everything above, the perfect system would:

Send a prep reminder well before the appointment, not just at the appointment time
Escalate from gentle to urgent as the appointment approaches
Use a channel that's impossible to ignore (phone calls, not notifications)
Allow voice responses ("I'm getting ready" / "I need 10 more minutes")
Follow up if you don't respond
Remember your preferences (how much prep time you need, how persistent to be)

This is exactly what we're building at Get Nudged. An AI assistant that calls you on the phone at the right times, with the right level of urgency, and adapts to how you respond.

No more missed dentist appointments. No more showing up 20 minutes late to everything. No more relying on other people to be your memory.

Never miss another appointment.

Get Nudged calls you on the phone with prep reminders so you actually show up on time. Join the waitlist.

Get Early Access

Quick wins you can do today

While you wait for Get Nudged to launch, here are things you can implement right now:

Set your calendar reminders to 1 hour and 15 minutes before (not 10 minutes, that's too late for ADHD)
Add travel time to the event itself. If the appointment is at 3pm and it's 30 minutes away, create the event starting at 2:15 called "LEAVE for dentist"
Ask Siri/Google to call you instead of setting an alarm. "Hey Siri, remind me to leave for the dentist at 2:15" uses a different notification style that some people find harder to dismiss
Put your car keys on top of whatever you need to bring. Physical cues beat digital ones for ADHD brains
Tell one person. Text a friend "I have a 3pm dentist appointment and I WILL miss it if someone doesn't remind me at 2"

These aren't perfect. But they're better than a single calendar notification that disappears into the void. And when Get Nudged launches, you'll have something even better.

Your phone rings. You actually show up.

AI-powered phone call reminders for people who forget everything. Coming soon.

Join the Waitlist